Some of the best advice I’ve ever received came from The Philosopher just yesterday:

“Just ride it out, your tears are there for a reason so follow what you're learning wherever it leads . . . "

“It” was a wave of grief for my high school friend, Chris, lost in Iraq earlier this year. Though it was as real and tangible as the hot tears streaming down my cheeks, I felt selfish and undeserving when measuring it against the pain Chris’s wife, children, parents and siblings surely feel.

Precipitating the tears was my stumble onto a site run by a man who goes by the moniker “Q.” Q lives simply and follows his heart. Thus far, his heart has guided him to the memorial services of 71 fallen soldiers. A photographer, Q shoots several hundred photos at each service, quietly from the background. Some of his photos can be found on his site; a reminder our military men and women are not statistics. The remaining photos are given to the soldiers’ families.

Last January, Q photographed Chris’s memorial service. Last week, I discovered the photos. They were both a priceless gift and the provider of a reality I’ve struggled to wrap my mind around: that on a rainy Pacific Northwest day, my friend was laid to rest.

I wrote to Q, sharing a little about Chris and thanking him for bringing back memories – and bringing home realities. He wrote back, telling me he’d phoned Chris’s mother, read her my letter and would be mailing me a disk with an additional 400 photos. I was floored. And grateful.

In the last few days, I’ve poured over those photos and reconnected with the mother of my high school sweetheart, who I was finally able to thank for the best moments of my youth. Because of her graciousness, the time elapsed since my last goodbye with Chris seems just a little shorter.

It wouldn’t have happened had a man named “Q” not followed his heart and a soldier’s mother not opened hers.

Below is a video I put together using many of Q’s photos. It isn’t a political statement. It is just my way of following where my tears lead. And, this time, they’ve led to some pretty neat places and very good people.

Please watch it with Chris’s family in mind – and keep them in your thoughts.



Q's Site: iraqwarheroes.org

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