Tuesday, May 16, 2006
How Much is that Doggy . . .
Nervous, scrawny, obedience school flunky. Does not play well with others. Cannot wag tail. Requires medication (canine prozac). Allergic. Flea-bitten. LOVES cats. Rarely responsive to affection. VERY vocal–barks and whines all day. ATHLETIC – Can climb, jump, dig under or otherwise squeeze through any make or model fence. Dependable – will always let you know the location of nearest cat. Almost housetrained! Requires muzzle.

RESPONDS TO THE FOLLOWING COMMANDS:

“Run”, “Don’t stop”, “Lick the cat”, “Chase the cat”, “Eat the cat”, “Pee on my favorite throw rug”, “Roll over and play neurotic”

IF YOU PURCHASE THIS TREASURE, WE'LL INCLUDE AS AN ADDED BONUS:

Enormous veterinarian and pharmacy bills!; Her favorite chew toys(what remains of our couch, socks, shoes, bedspread and plastic tableware.); Certified vaccination and quarantine history; Registration with the AKC/WCTDA(AKC Won’t Claim This Dog Association); Muzzl; County permits authorizing the harboring of dangerous and/or stupid animals; Whatever remains of our bottle of tranquilizers (for you, not the dog.); Earplugs(see: VOCAL, above); My favorite throw rug.

 
Rhonda Ruminated at 6:50 PM | Permalink |


16 Ruminations:


  • At 10:48 PM, Blogger Unknown

    So what did she do to piss you off?

     

  • At 6:21 AM, Blogger Attila the Mom

    Bahahaha. I think I'd send you money just to keep her.

     

  • At 7:12 AM, Blogger 34quinn

    awwwwwww I love german shepards.

    Even though as a child I was attacked and bitten in the face by one. I over came my fear and got one.

    Beautifull dogs they are, maybe she is just a bit miss understood. LOL .

     

  • At 7:13 AM, Blogger Ruth Dynamite

    I'm sold. Where do I sign?

     

  • At 7:46 AM, Blogger BloggingMone

    Do you know that there is a certain black German Sheperd owning a secret blog showing the following ad?
    Owner for sale: Owner is nervous, wants me to play with others even when I am bored stiff. Unable to do something against flee bites. Puts fences in places where they are completely unnecessary. Owner cannot wag her tail. Isn't house trained, but at least always uses the same place.
    Responds to the following commands: Give me food! Pet my head! Give me more food! Go for a walk!
    As an added bonus I will give a computer, her favourite toy.
    Owner needs tranquilizers without any obvious reason.
    Caution: Owner is not reliable. May like other dogs as well.
    Price: A bucket full of dog biscuits, payable at delivery.

     

  • At 11:08 AM, Blogger Rhonda

    POOPER: So what did she do to piss you off?

    Sadly, the list of offenses is only a slight exaggeration. We don't know if she had a terrible early childhood or if her problems are biological, but she has issues. We are committed to her, give her the best life possible and lots of love, but there are days when a For Sale sign sounds like a good idea.

    ATM: The check is in the mail, right?

    QUINN: I love shepherds too. I'll never not have a shepherd by my side.

    RUTH: LOL! Strange as it may seem, I couldn't bear to part with her.

    BLOGGINGMONE: That was too funny. I'm still giggling. And, Remington would say I absolutely deserved it.

     

  • At 1:37 PM, Blogger Nikki

    HA! Animals and children. We coddle them both... but we can shave our animals and have a good laugh.

    If we shaved our kids, we'd have to go to the other room to laugh.

     

  • At 3:00 PM, Blogger clew

    Oh my goodness. Makes my pain in the butt spaz hunting dog seem like a prince. ;)

    Howya doing Rhonda? :) Other than dog trauma that is ... ;D

     

  • At 12:52 AM, Blogger St Jude

    Oh my giddy aunt, that could be a picture of one of my dogs, only she's greying round the chops now. I suppose we were lucky, she only ate two sofas and an armchair before she 'settled' down. She still has her moments, but she's so loving, I couldn't bear to be without her.

     

  • At 9:22 AM, Blogger Rhonda

    NIKKI: Too funny. I hadn't thought of shaving her!

    CLEW: See? It's all about perspective. I'm glad I could help ;o) And, I'm good (over my annual Mother's Day grumblingness). How's you?

    ST. JUDE: Remi is greying, too. You just can't tell because the picture is blurred, as she's in hot pursuit of the cat.

     

  • At 3:35 PM, Blogger Miss Keeks

    I would take her!!! But the wife would kill me. And the cats would be pissed too. Even if she does like them.

    I've always wanted a German Shepard.

    I could loan you my cats--they puke all the time (especially on the rugs) and the boy needs a subcutaneous fluid injection twice a week. The boy will sleep on your head and start walking all over you when he wakes up. The girl will sleep in the middle of the bed.

     

  • At 6:15 PM, Blogger Kim Ayres

    My parents used to have a dog that ate just about everything - socks, wallets, my brother's girlfriend's contraceptive pills. The funniest time was when he ate a packet of balloons...

    Hmm, I know I've recounted this tale fairly recently. Can't remember whether it was here, at Charlie's or Atilla's

     

  • At 7:07 PM, Blogger Rhonda

    FRANKENGIRL: Yep, they're a regular circus act.

    MISS KEEKS: With a bed full of dogs, I don't think we'd have room for cats on loan. I miss having cats around though, but can't bring myself to torture one enough to bring it home to the cat eater.

    KIM: Ha! I remember the balloon story. It was on Charlie's blog, in reaction to his rubberman article, if I recall correctly.

     

  • At 7:11 AM, Anonymous Anonymous

    She sounds suspiciously like a reincarnation of an ex-boyfriend of mine...

     

  • At 9:11 PM, Blogger Mia

    I suddenly don't feel so bad about my pee happy Bichon. Or Bitchon as I like to refer to him when I step in a wet spot.

     

  • At 5:48 AM, Blogger Nightmare

    I love it! it sounds like my old dog Deacon!

     
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