Thursday, April 20, 2006
It's a Girl!
Dear Foo-Foo Girls,

You know who you are. Your hairdresser, nail artist and tanning salon are on speed dial on your cell phone. You wouldn’t dream of going to the grocery store in flip flops with yesterday’s hair in a sloppy ponytail. Your makeup bag is bigger than my suitcase and is organized by seasons. You carry a second bag full of objects of bodily torture: things that curl, poke, tweeze and exfoliate. You have things in your underwear drawer unrecognizable to the likes of me: bras that look like suction cups, underwear that lifts, spreads and flattens – or claims to be invisible. Speaking of underwear, you don’t just wear underwear, you wear under ensembles; you are color-coordinated from the skin up.

I don’t understand you. I used to laugh at you. Now, though, I am in awe of you. How do you do it? Where do you find the time? And, more importantly, how do you afford it? Do you take out a 30-year ARM to finance the girly-girl stuff? Borrow from your parents? Pilfer from your children’s’ college funds?

In preparation for the military baawwl I have shopped at the mall for the first time since 1987. I’ve been cut, colored, tweezed, mani and pedi-cured. I’ve shaved, buffed and bronzed. I am exhausted. The house is a disaster. I can’t remember my name. This foo-foo girl stuff is a full time job and I am putting in my resignation first thing Monday morning.

There is a reason I belly laugh through Miss Congeniality. I am “Gracie” – without the kick-ass FBI job and concealed weapon.

If, when I return next week, you see a post titled: All I Want is World Peace, you’ll know the damage done this week is irreversible.
 
Rhonda Ruminated at 2:00 PM | Permalink |


13 Ruminations:


  • At 2:32 PM, Blogger Attila The Mom

    Yeah, but you're naturally beautiful, Doll.

    If you were naturally butt-fugly, I bet you'd find time for it. LOL

    Hope you have a great time!

     
  • At 3:19 PM, Blogger Nikki

    Have fun Rhonda! Don't get your heels caught in a grate.

     
  • At 6:53 PM, Blogger Lady

    LOL!

    Have fun at the ball ~ knock the socks off them all. (they don't have to know you're not a full time foo-foo girl)

     
  • At 1:55 AM, Blogger St Jude

    I'll let you into their secret, they wish they could be like you most days, they just haven't got the confidence to be themselves.

    You're lovely just as you are. Enjoy your the ball.

     
  • At 8:31 AM, Blogger Sven

    Please forgive me for asking but this wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that the ex is going to the Bawl as well, would it?

     
  • At 3:32 PM, Blogger Marie Jarrell

    Yeah sure they look great. Like cherry ice cream in the sun. But if an acrylic nails pops off the day is ruined. RUINED, I say.

    It should be good, the post-ball blog you're gonna write. ;)

     
  • At 3:54 PM, Blogger Mia

    Ummmm I think its World Peas. But don't quote me on that.

    Have a BALL this weekend!!!!!!!! OK, I know that was stupid. But seriously, have as much fun as one chickie can have with her female parts all cinched up and sucked in!!!

    One more thing; Ask the DJ to play something completely outrageous like All Out of Love by Airsupply and tell him to announce it is your ex's favorite song.

     
  • At 5:46 PM, Blogger Attila The Mom

    Ah Mia, that's cold....

     
  • At 7:58 PM, Blogger HeatherRainbow

    Rhonda:

    I am soo not a foo foo. In fact... I wear jeans so I don't have to figure out what matches. lol...

    Anyways... good luck on that ball stuff.

     
  • At 8:43 AM, Blogger Attila The Mom

    Well? Well? Inquiring minds and all....

    LOL

     
  • At 2:45 PM, Blogger Nikki

    Come on! I wanna know what happened. Give! Give!

     
  • At 3:45 PM, Blogger Rhonda

    I promise post about the weekend - soon!

    -Rhonda (who is very, very tired)

     
  • At 3:54 PM, Blogger Mia

    Tapping my foot here!!!!!! tap tap tap

     

Links to this post:

Create a Link