Suburbia, with both its conveniences and irritants, has completely encroached upon our five little acres. Being a transplant to both Missouri and the suburban lifestyle, I spend a lot of time griping about suburbanites and dreaming of retreating to a mountain hideaway – a lifestyle I am much more accustomed to.Despite all my complaining, I secretly cherish the convenience of suburbia. When a convenience mart was built two blocks away, I wondered how I ever survived 30-mile emergency runs for toilet paper. Now, I can leave the house and return with a steaming cup of fresh coffee faster than it takes to brew my own.
I’m a regular. They know I like my coffee with cream and sugar, prefer Coke to Pepsi and suffer the occasional midnight hot chocolate craving. I’ve been a faithful customer since their grand opening.
Concern washed over my beloved convenient mart upon groundbreaking of a Super Convenient Mart a block away. The owner worried about losing revenue and the clerks worried about losing their jobs. “You’ll still shop here, won’t you?” the owner asked me. Of course, I promised my loyalty, asserting something about how I couldn’t be romanced by a super sized store. I simply am not that shallow.
All I did was stop by for their grand opening. They were giving away coffee, for god’s sake! Who can blame me?
I’ve been unfaithful. I’m a miserable cheat, a louse. It’s been two weeks since I’ve gone to the old convenience mart. Guilt stops me from pulling in their lot. I don’t like conflict and know I’ll be confronted. As I drive by my old haunt, I practice my excuses.
But, it was just so young and fresh. I was just curious, is all.
I think they spiked the coffee. I don’t remember what happened.
It tempted me, lured me in with its deli and ice cream bar.
Of course I don’t like it better there. It just happened. One thing led to another and . . .
It isn’t serious. Hell, the place is servicing the whole neighborhood!
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At 7:22 PM,
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At 8:36 PM,
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At 11:40 PM,
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At 2:11 AM,
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At 2:42 AM,
Sigh...
How often it starts with an innocent free coffee. Offered out of politeness, it would be rude to refuse. But further delights are then offered and before you know it you've left the familiar and comfortable for the new and exciting.
Of course, this new store will believe that they have you now, that you will be faithful to them for ever more. But we both know that should a new, exciting, closer store turn up offering free coffee at it's grand opening, then you won't hang around. -
At 8:48 AM,
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At 9:35 AM,
ATM: Aw, c'mon, you aren't shocked. Of everyone, you know best we adoptees cannot be trusted, embrace no loyalties and are always dreaming about the coffee being better on the other side.
Jude: I've mended my ways. Really. I have. You can trust me not to look at another . . . oh wait, just a minute, there's a realllly interesting blog over there. I'm just going to check it out real quick . . .
Kim: Ah, you understand. It was coffee. It was free. And then the deli beckoned. Before I knew it, I was so caught up in it all. I am swearing off grand openings forever. In fact, I'm considering attending the local Grand Openings Anonomous group. I hear they have free coffee . . . -
At 9:50 AM,
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At 9:55 AM,
Traitor! Fair-weather friend! Kick-em-when-they're-downer!
What the hell, I'd probably do the same thing.
Therefore, my moral estimate of you has only declined a smidge, from 100 to just a fraction under 99.
Drink 'em if you got 'em.